he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
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so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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