now i know why i became what i already was.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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