i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.