So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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