Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!