I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
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