I think scott just propositioned me for sex
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Randomize
