HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
He called his prostate his "boner button".
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.