you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say