Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

I wish I only lived at night.

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(734): I wish I only lived at night. http://tfl.nu/lkra

Replies (16) Good night (4198) Bad night (694)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.

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(201): I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom. http://tfl.nu/i9mn

Replies (10) Good night (551) Bad night (1954)
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(847): View more from Illinois

he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.

(1-847): View more from Illinois

you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.

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(847): he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants. (1-847): you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him. http://tfl.nu/yg4d

Replies (25) Good night (623) Bad night (2906)
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(586): View more from Michigan

Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..

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(586): Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away.. http://tfl.nu/t5um

Replies (22) Good night (3071) Bad night (1202)
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(630): View more from Illinois

just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.

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(630): just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description. http://tfl.nu/30ew

Replies (13) Good night (629) Bad night (2520)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF

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(203): THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF http://tfl.nu/hsyz

Replies (20) Good night (3879) Bad night (1179)
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(406): View more from Montana

he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.

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(406): he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut. http://tfl.nu/l4ub

Replies (24) Good night (705) Bad night (5915)
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(501): View more from Arkansas

Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick

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(501): Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick http://tfl.nu/wixt

Replies (27) Good night (4566) Bad night (1066)
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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.

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(902): driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are. http://tfl.nu/vxum

Replies (16) Good night (5097) Bad night (1240)
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(856): View more from New Jersey

I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.

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(856): I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud. http://tfl.nu/70be

Replies (10) Good night (2785) Bad night (1132)
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(812): View more from Indiana

You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.

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(812): You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time. http://tfl.nu/0lxp

Replies (7) Good night (2819) Bad night (704)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster

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(717): He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster http://tfl.nu/7ph6

Replies (14) Good night (2453) Bad night (719)
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(801): View more from Utah

New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.

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(801): New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes. http://tfl.nu/3a1v

Replies (5) Good night (1315) Bad night (469)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me

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(203): I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me http://tfl.nu/e1ma

Replies (5) Good night (1178) Bad night (612)
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(313): View more from Michigan

Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.

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(313): Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers. http://tfl.nu/6tbn

Replies (2) Good night (393) Bad night (801)

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