Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
