You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
