You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
You left your phone here
Wait...
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize