And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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