fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boob is missing a layer of skin
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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