just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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