No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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