Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize