I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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