He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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