No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
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Naked Twister starts at high noon
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
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I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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