just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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