What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize