He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Boobs speak an international language.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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