am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
