I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
