I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home