I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed