i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
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No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
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Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal