It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.