One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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