we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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