fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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