i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
