Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
