I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
