Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
