it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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