...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
