that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.