Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.