Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Deaf chicks here I come
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what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.