We're facebook friends in real life
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?