Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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