Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
