Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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