you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
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i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
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He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...