____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
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