He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
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Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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