He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
