I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
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