I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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