when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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