apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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