Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.