So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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