and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.