He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.