Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
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He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
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Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you