If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country