i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
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My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
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Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.