So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
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