Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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