Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
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Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
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These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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