You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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