So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
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I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
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I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation