this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.