he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important