i'm signing you up for texting rehab
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.